First, I'd like to admit that I am clearly the world's worst blogger since my last post was almost six months ago. This is credited to the feeling that I have nothing really important to say for others to read. With more time on my hands nowadays...what the heck! It's a great form to process/connect with others. So here goes nothing...
THE ACTUAL POST
As someone who loves metaphors and usually tends to think or speak metaphorically, today was a great day. I gained insight into life, metaphorically. It began by finally getting in touch with one of my best friends, Christa Katona. She and I have been playing phone tag the past month or so; it was about time that we needed to talk. While processing to each other this season of life we find ourselves in, Katona made a GREAT point by saying this is when the training wheels come off and we learn to ride the bike. She's brilliant, I know. I'm so lucky and blessed by the people God has put in my life. Anyways....this jogged a childhood memory from the filing cabinets.
For me, learning to ride a bike was not an easy lesson. I can recall Pops and me outside- he in his shirt and tie for work, and myself geared up from head to toe (Mom's doing ;]). Training wheels on. Helmet fastened. Ready...set...GO! Dad giving me the push and I try to pedal. CRASH!!!! These episodes routinely ended with me running into the house balling, "I CAN'T DO THIS!! I DON'T WANT TO!! IT HURTS!!" Followed with Mom and Dad patiently letting me cry, brushing my knees off, and putting the bike away for another time. This went on for quite awhile. Yet one year, during Thanksgiving at my Uncle's house, all of us kids were in the backyard playing. By this I mean, all the boys were "rough housing" and I was trying to "fit in" with my overall dress and hiking boots on. Clearly Scout Finch was my hero ;). At some point coasting down the hill on a bike seemed like a stroke of genius (not pedaling just braking with my feet on the ground). Yeah, it seemed logical. Give me a break. Suddenly I hear my Pops yell out from the house, "NAT, JUST PEDAL!" Something clicked. I put my feet on the pedals, speeding down the hill, and immediately I was transported into Spielberg's E.T, or so I wish. We all wish John Williams was scoring the soundtrack to our lives. Let's just be honest. MOVING ON.... I WAS RIDING A BIKE!!! I got it. It took time, pain, some female emotions, but I eventually learned how to do it.
Now one second...
This then reminded me of a poem I read awhile ago (I promise there's a reason for all of this). Here's the poem:
"The Road Of Life"(author unknown)
At first I saw God as my observer, my judge,
keeping track of the things I did wrong,
so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die.
He was out there sort of like a president.
I recognized His picture when I saw it,
but I really didn't know Him.
But later on when I met Christ,
it seemed as though lifer were rather like a bike ride,
but it was a tandem bike,
and I noticed that Christ
was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was
that He suggested we change places,
but life has not been the same since.
When I had control,
I knew the way.
It was rather boring,
It was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead,
He knew delightful long cuts,
up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds.
It was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness,
He said, Pedal!
I worried and was anxious and asked,
Where are you taking me?
He laughed and didn't answer,
and I started to learn to trust.
I forgot my boring life
and entered into the adventure.
And when I'd say, I'm scared,
He'd lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed,
gifts of healing,
They gave me gifts to take on my journey,
my Lord's and mine.
And we were off again.
He said, Give the gifts away,
they're extra baggage, too much weight.
So i did,
to the people we met,
and I found that in giving I received,
and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him,
in control of my life.
I thought He'd wreck it;
but He knows bike secrets,
knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners,
knows how to jump to clear high rocks,
knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.
And I am learning to be quiet
and pedal in the strangest places,
and I am beginning to enjoy the view
and the cool breeze on my face
with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
And when I'm sure I just can't do any more,
He just smiles and says....Pedal.
I am learning to "just pedal!!" It's the same lesson all over again. Graduating from college meant taking the training wheels off. God has now taken the front seat of this bike and it is terrifying. I'm learning to give up control, to trust Him with my future; it's not easy, but a necessity. I'm sure to fall off and scrape my knees, but I know He will be there. I have been removed from everything I know as comfort. Leaving home and stepping into this journey took a lot. I have no doubt though that He is steering this bike. I ask Him daily, "where are you taking me?" He simply says, "Pedal." As scared as I am, I have nothing else to do but trust. One day I shall look back on this section of the ride and think, "ooh that's why." If we didn't have these seasons of uncertainty, fear, and doubt, we wouldn't need to depend on Him. I need to be reminded of that. So I'm doing something that I don't normally do. I am rejoicing. For someone who usually hates change, I am rejoicing in this change. Thank you God for not letting me live this life according to my plans. Let's face it, my plans would be pretty boring. Father knows best ;)
Love you all! With that, "just pedal!"